1. Fake your death : Lie down in the comfort of your home after taking orijin mixed with a friedrice and beans combo, get a friend to take a deathfie of you then get another stupid friend to post on his social media accounts cos obviously
Mr skiibi sorry (dimwit) you are dead and cant do it. Just make sure you don’t come back from the land of the dead wearing only one pair of jeans always.
2. Donate your virginity: I don’t know if
virginity is an amount in a bank account
that you can donate, but if you have your
virginity please donate it freely and don’t care if the men you want to donate it to are boko haram members who’ve been konji deprived or uncircumcised’.
3. Have a baby mama: 2face has, reminisce has, olamide has, iyanya has, and the list is endless. If you are too dump to already know this or no girl wants to have a child with you cos they’d rather be another baby mama to Iyanya, don’t worry your ass too much, i have girls in my village who would confuse you for iyanya as long as you have a tight boxers, six packs(not necessarily) and you are always taking pictures barechested.
4. Dress Funny : I dont care how top notch your dress sense is but if you want to become a celeb in Nigeria, you need to
dress funny. Either you wear a green suit, red trousers and a yellow shoe like you fell of a rainbow(pls don’t let KCEE see this) or you do a hairstyle that seems like you planted two taribo west’s head on your head. For the ladies make sure your hair is looking like it was weaved by Aso oke experts and if you must wear bumshort then go have a baby bump first.
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