On a journey to Europe.

Note: This is a true life story. Names of persons used are not real. If you have passed through scenarios like this and your name is also used in the story you are about to read. I am sorry, it is just mere coincidence. All contents are owned by mrlaw. DO NOT COPY. Tnks 

My name is Niyi Olagunju, and this is my true life story. I have always wanted to leave for Europe after secondary school. I have heard so many stories and testimonies that it is the land of hope. Even if these stories aren't true, my television isn't lying. Whenever i am watching the tv and see a place full of white men, to me the place is Europe and i just fantasize myself there.

 On many occasions i had lied to my friends in secondary school that my parent are planning to send me to Europe. I had always told them preparations will start immediately after our final exam. Meanwhile, deep in my heart i knew my parent don't have the financial capacity

John Mikel Obi welcomes twins.

He uploaded the picture on his instagram page and captioned it:

''My whole world in my arms, welcome to the world, my angels #twins''
https://instagram.com/p/7xfMQ_PvJf/

Cultist killed and dumped infront of Yaba College of technology. Yaba Lagos

A man suspected to be a cultist was yesterday murdered/butchered and dumped in front of Yaba College of Technology. The deceased named Quadri was killed in the early hours of yesterday after his killers attacked him with a bottle and stabbed him on the abdomen many times.

Four funny ways to become a celebrity.

1. Fake your death : Lie down in the comfort of your home after taking orijin mixed with a friedrice and beans combo, get a friend to take a deathfie of you then get another stupid friend to post on his social media accounts cos obviously
Mr skiibi sorry (dimwit) you are dead and cant do it. Just make sure you don’t come back from the land of the dead wearing only one pair of jeans always.

2. Donate your virginity: I don’t know if
virginity is an amount in a bank account
that you can donate, but if you have your
virginity please donate it freely and don’t care if the men you want to donate it to are boko haram members who’ve been konji deprived or uncircumcised’.

3. Have a baby mama: 2face has, reminisce has, olamide has, iyanya has, and the list is  endless. If you are too dump to already know this or no girl wants to have a child with you cos they’d rather be another baby mama to Iyanya, don’t worry your ass too much, i have girls in my village who would confuse you for iyanya as long as you have a tight boxers, six packs(not necessarily) and you are always taking pictures barechested.

4. Dress Funny : I dont care how top notch your dress sense is but if you want to become a celeb in Nigeria, you need to
dress funny. Either you wear a green suit, red trousers and a yellow shoe like you fell of a rainbow(pls don’t let KCEE see this) or you do a hairstyle that seems like you planted two taribo west’s head on your head. For the ladies make sure your hair is looking like it was weaved by Aso oke experts and if you must wear bumshort then go have a baby bump first.

Not in this world (The power of codeine). Part5

   It was now about 5hours of my death. I was now getting used to the new environment. The noises and wept around me had drastically reduced. I could now feel and get hold of things around me.

Suddenly i woke up and it was all a dream. I could move but at a very slow pace. The  time is now 5:40a.m. I walked slowly to the toilet using objects around me as support.  I deep my right hand in my pocket, i felt my phone and immediately placed a call to Shoew. It rang at my end but there was no response. Maybe the guy still dey sleep, i thought. I walked back to my room. It was now time for prayer. I was too weak to go to the mosque. That is even the last thing on my mind right now, i thought. But i couldn't escape the prayer as mum came to my room to call my awareness.  I walked to the mosque which is about 3 houses away from mine. I joined the prayer but was a bit faster than the rest of the congregation. Am now aware of the fact that am not dead but am still not in control of body. This feeling is nothing compared to that of drunkenness, i thought.

On getting home, i sat in the living room. My mum came to me to report Raji. She explained how he disturbed the neighborhood with the loud noise emanating from his generator. How my dad was so angry that he threatened to kill him if he didn't stop the generator. She also made mention of the fact that she was very surprised i slept all through even with the horrible sound. I just told her i heard the noise but was too tired to stand up.

Immediately she left, i start to relate her explanation with my horrible experience of death. So the dream i heard that i died and my dad was weeping is not real. He was only shouting to express his anger at Raji. I picked my phone and placed a call to Shoew which he picked at first beep. I told him about the experience i had. How my brain was multitasking and how i couldn't differentiate what was real and what was not. He told me the reason for that was as a result of the codeine and indian-hemp in the drink we took in the party. He said he had an almost alike experience. We both laughed till a lady machine voice interrupted saying "your account is low, this call will be terminated soon".

The end.

Not in this world ( The power of codeine). Part4

The place was just am empty space with only me in it. No one to explain my travails to me. I feel dejected. On the other hand i could feel the pain in the heart of my parents, i never knew they love me this much. My sense of feeling had gone. I couldn't feel my body either. I need no prophet to tell me am a dead man. The dreams i have had of becoming a great man. So i didn't even stay on earth to raise my own family with Tinu, the love of my life. What will happen to her if the news reach her that am dead. This is no good. I didn't plan it this way , i thought. But how did i die?

I asked myself that question. The rate of my heartbeat had become very fast due to the random thoughts and regrets. I need to use my brain (that's if the dead think). I relaxed myself, i gave a deep breathe in other to catch my breath to reduce the speed of my heartbeat. I couldn't remember anything even as much as i tried.

Back where my body was. I could here things there. My father kept shouting Shittu's name. Where is he? "Look what they did to my son. I swear i will kill him". He kept on saying "i will kill them", "i wikl kill him" as he screams on top of his voice. Oh! Shittu, that name gave me something to think about. Then i remembered Shoew. He was the one i went away with, but why is popsy (daddy) screaming Shittu's name. Shittu is the name of another guy in the neighbourhood and am sure i didn't leave the house with him. Nah hin sabi jare, poor old man. The death of his son has deteriorating is thinking.

I remembered going to a place with cemetery behind it and a shrine. Yes!, it was slimbeat that took myself, Shoew and his very own friend there. He must have used something on me. My eyes filled with tears. The bastard had used me for rituals. I remembered the sip of drink i had, that must have caused my death. "The bastard go soon blow after using me for rituals", i wept.  I never knew the dead cries. "But Shoew isn't dead", i thought. So he is a part of the plan, i thought him to be my best friend. Poor me, i trusted him. "But not on this earth will Shoew and co spend the money from the returns of my death," I vowed.

To be continued.

Buhari and his vice Prof Osinbajo have declared their assets.

A statement by the Senior Special Adviser on Media and Publicity to the President on Media and Publicity, Mr Garba Shehu said “the documents submitted to the CCB, which officials say are still being vetted and will soon be made public, show that prior to being sworn in on May 29, President Buhari had less than N30 million to his name. He also had only one bank account, with the Union Bank. President Buhari had no foreign account, no factory and no enterprises. He also had no registered company and no oil wells”, the statement said.

The statement further added that “the Vice President, Professor Yemi Osinbajo (SAN) who had been a successful lawyer before his foray into politics declared a bank balance of about N94 million and 900,000 United States Dollars in his bank accounts”.

It added that President Buhari “had shares in Berger Paints, Union Bank and Skye Bank.

The documents also revealed that “President Buhari had a total of five homes, and two mud houses in Daura. He had two homes in Kaduna, one each in Kano, Daura and in Abuja. One of the mud houses in Daura was inherited from his late older sister, another from his late father. He borrowed money from the old Barclays Bank to build two of his homes.

“President Buhari also has two undeveloped plots of land, one in Kano and the other in Port Harcourt. He is still trying to trace the location of the Port Harcourt land.

“In addition to the homes in Daura, he has farms, an orchard and a ranch. The total number of his holdings in the farm include 270 heads of cattle, 25 sheep, five horses, a variety of birds and a number of economic trees”.

The documents also showed that the retired General “uses a number of cars, two of which he bought from his savings and the others supplied to him by the federal government in his capacity as former Head of State. The rest were donated to him by well-wishers after his jeep was damaged in a Boko Haram bomb attack on his convoy in July 2014.

The same forms, according to Mr Shehu, notes that ” Vice-President, Professor Yemi Osinbajo’s asset declaration include his 4-bedroom residence at Victoria Garden City, Lagos and a 3-bedroom flat at 2 Mosley Road, Ikoyi. The Vice President also has a 2-bedroom flat at the popular Redemption Camp along Lagos-Ibadan Expressway and a 2-bedroom mortgaged property in Bedford, England. Aside from these, the Vice President has no other landed properties on the form.

“Apart from his law firm, known as SimmonsCooper, the Vice-President also declared shareholding in six private companies based in Lagos, including Octogenerium Ltd., Windsor Grant Ltd., Tarapolsa, Vistorion Ltd., Aviva Ltd. and MTN Nigeria.

“His personal vehicles are one Infinity 4-Wheel Drive SUV, one Mercedes Benz and a Prado Jeep.

“As soon as the CCB is through with the process, the documents will be released to the Nigerian public and people can see for themselves,” Mr Shehu said. http://www.channelstv.com/2015/09/03/buhari-osinbajo-declare-assets/

Not in this world (The power of codeine). Part3

We got to the party a bit late and the program had started already. Each of us grabbed a chair to sit at space which seems to be like a VIP session. On sitting we were immediately served with drinks in plastic cup each and everyone one of us. The drink was served from a transparent plastic with tap for passage of the liquid content in it. Ice blocks dropped in each cup to give it a cooling effect. A cup was passed to me and i gave a sip. Wao! It taste really good, "atleast no be alcohol this time", i thought. Before my friends were called up the stage i had already finished 3cups. 

They all went on stage to perform and i could say they fared well. Shoew's performance was the best of all the three. He is indeed a good artiste, i thought.

 Meanwhile, while they were performing, i was busy taking more drink. I got a call from my dad asking where i was. I told him i will be home soon that am within the neighborhood. On checking the time on my phone, it was past 9:00pm already. I called the attention of my friends that we should head home. "Guys!, make we dey go ouse abeg, my p.man (daddy) don call, i need to get home as soon as possible". We stood up from the sit, walked through the exit gate of the field and headed home. On getting to the bustop we boarded a marua almost immediately, we headed home. 

There i was laying helplessly on the floor. I was having a good sleep until i heard a shaky voice. The voice scared the ghost out of me. I tried to stand up but i couldn't. Even if i can't use my feet, i could atleast sit upright, but nothing seems to be working here as i remain fixed to a spot. The voice am hearing is that of my dad. He is sobbing, his heart broken as he kept wailing. No one could console him. Another voice came to my hearing which seems to be that of my mum. She seems to be in the same mood as my that. Her voice isn't as loud as that of  my dad but i could imagine the pity she felt for herself. Some other voices coming up to console my parents. "What is happening here?", i asked myself. I could hardly get what my father was saying. His voice is now getting closer and clearer. "Look what they did to my son", he lamented. "My son ke. Is this man referring to me?" I asked, but it seems no one could here what i was saying. He moved closer to me and placed his hand on my left biceps. I could feel his touch. He held my hand so tight as he wept uncontrollably. I raised my hand to touch him and ask him, father, what is going on. But i moved my right hand to hold him, i realized how impossible it is for me to do that. It is now certain that something strange is happening to me. It is annoying that i am picturing myself in two forms. On one end i could move and on the other i am fixed to a point like a car parked in the garage. I couldn't get the real picture of myself. Where i was I do not understand. But one thing is sure. I no longer belong to this world. 

To be continued.

Photo: PHCN official got electrocuted while working on pole.

An official of the Ikeja Distribution Company (IKDC) was found on a electric police after been electrocuted today. According to a female witness , she said the PHCN official was noticed when he was not moving after about 15 minutes. The electric pole is just right in front of the police college in Ikeja,Lagos. Policemen came to the rescue and he was moved to a nearby hospital before he was confirmed dead.

Top 10 most expensive deals of EPL summer transfer window.

As the transfer window closes yesterday 01/09/2015. We bring you the list of the most expensive deals. See picture below

Shocking! Corpse found having sex in Aba mortuary.

This story is factual and can be verified, especially with the normal thinking that when somebody dies, earthly things are no longer known to him.
However, the death of an Akwa Ibom indigene, living in Aba and his subsequent act in the morgue shows that the world is full of mysteries. Reports emanating from Aba had it that the late Akwa
Ibom citizen died in Aba, last Tuesday, atop a prostitute in a brothel. The corpse was later deposited in a mortuary in Aba
awaiting investigation and collection for burial probably by his relations.
However, on Thursday, when another corpse arrived, the mortuary attendants were shocked to find the corpse of the man from Akwa Ibom on top of another
female corps. Initially, the attendants were scared and took to their heels and later came back to put the corps apart.
To their surprise, the penis of the man was erect and stiff as if he was alive.

http://dailytimes.com.ng/corpse-sex-another-aba-morgue/

Seven players remaining in Manchester United team that won the 2013 league.

What do you think about Luis Van Gaal action. Right or Wrong?

His transfers so far:
Robin Vanpersie - Galatasaray
Januzaj- on loan to Dortmund
Lindgaard/Johnny Evans - Westbrom
Dimaria - PSG
Falcao - Chelsea
Wilson -
Blackett - Celtic

Not in this world (the power of codeine) part2.

After Marua(Three wheelers) we boarded moved a short distance. The guy who got the invite for the party signalled the rider of the Marua to stop, which he did. His name is Slimbeat. "Okay! guys nh the place be this". We all alighted from the marua and headed for the venue. On getting to the location, it wasn't what i thought with all the hype from my so called celebrity friends. 

The place is just a fenced field managed by a mushroom hotel beside it. But nevertheless, we were given a first class welcome. Sho! Nah so artiste dey enjoy, "i thought" as i walked majestically to the place. Omo see as people dey look us. Me sef kon dey gara pass the rest sef, as i looked more like a big artiste tgan them. Well, the party haven't started and it seems not to be starting in an hour time. Slimbeat who invited us suggested there is a place we could hangout pending the time the party will start. Ok! we all agreed to go there. Only if we know the misery ahead. On getting to the suggested location. It was a rural area, a ghetto to the call. The house we were taken to is made with wood.

 As we got to the back of the house, Slimbeat offered us a seat. Behind me was an empty land covered with grasses. "Oh boy!, where be this place"?, i asked. "Nah here we dey sha oo. That land behind you nah cemetery. Nah dere dem dey bury people wey die for this area". Mhen! I don enter am today. Jesus!, i no tell my popsi before i comot for house ooo. Fear gripped me as evil thought overflows my mind. Slimbeat suggested to buy something to inspire him when he grabs the microphone. Of course, only indian-hemps and dry gin is the key for survival on stage. So he left along with the other guy Tounz, leaving myself and Showe at the place with an occupant of the building a distance away from us. As they left i whispered to Showe that i dont like the place and am not comfortable. He claimed he is also feeling the same way but we have no choice than to stay. Ok!, no problem. I summoned courage. 

On looking to my right side is a shrine with palmoil dripping from the mouth of the carved image. I called Showe's attention to it which he suggested we move the bench we were sitting on a bit forward. At this point my temperature increased. First it was the cemetery now the shrine. Okay!, let me look at it from this angle. Maybe, slimbeat wants to do ritual. He needed to use human as part of the needed material for his ambition, i thought. I was still thinking about all this when slimbeat and Tounz walked in with indian hemp and dry gin. I asked if the party has started so we could leave the place as it is already getting late (6:30pm). I don't drink and if i do i wouldn't do that in an environment like this with dead people behind me and a shrine at my side. The man standing a distance to us moves ckoser and requested for a share of the drink which was given to him with an open heart. I was persuaded to drink a bit because of that over there as he pointed to the shrine. This is a sacred place my dear and the drink is a native one. You have to drink even if its a sip. I did sip the drink. Tounz and slim smoked up their life and he headed to the party afterall. Only if I knew what a sip of a drink will cost me. To be continued.

Not in this world (The power of codeine). Part1

It was indeed a very boring Sunday. I sat outside the house alone listening to music with my heaset plugged to my ears. There comes Shoew(not real name), my very humble friend.I sighted him as he approaches me. We jammed our hands together to greet. "Guy, how far nah", he said, which i simply replied by saying "i dey ooo". He wasted no time by asking if i will like to go to a birthday party with him."This one wey you just dey house dey do nothing, make we reach one party together nah. I go dey perform for there and i go like make you see my performance cos if i blow finish, u go dey pay to enter my show nio". I knew he was kidding, he is not only a good musician, but also a very funny guy. I call him "my real G". Maybe he could make it faster if he ventures into comedy rather than music. "Anyway, nh hin sabi",i gave it a thought. I agreed to go with him and we both stepped out as i was not badly dressed. 

 On reaching the outer gate of the house, we met two other guys. They seems to be going with us to the party. I had seen them once or twice in the studio. E be like say these ones sef wan go perform nio. Artiste everywhere, this party must be a very doped on, i guessed. All this running in my mind. "Hey! Chairman", i hailed the first guy as we jammed hands. "Ogami", the second guy says as he jammed hand with me. We started gisting as moved on to our destination. Only if i knew what i was heading into.

Masquerades invade church and flogs pastors to coma.

A Church service was reportedly disrupted by four masquerades who flogged the pastors and the worshipers in Epinmi Akoko area of Ondo state. One of the masquerades, Tunde Arohunmolase was however arrested while others fled after flogging the pastors and the worshipers.
Police source said that the masquerades invade the Christ Apostolic Church in the town while the service was on-going and abruptly ended it. Two of the Pastors were reportedly injured by the time the masquerades left the church premises.
Vanguard learnt that when the masquerades arrived the church premises they were challenged by some of the church workers. But they reportedly overpowered them and went straight for their target. While other worshipers fled leaving the Pastors , their attackers reportedly had a field day dealing with them.
Vanguard learnt that the matter was later reported at the police station and one of the suspect was apprehended.
Police detectives are probing the reason for the attack of the church by the masqueraders during the service.
When contacted the police Image Maker, Wole Ogodo, confirmed that two Pastors were wounded during the attack and have been treated. He gave the names of the Pastors as Jacob Ogunmola and
Kehinde Ilori. The Police Spokesman added that one of the suspect-
Tunde Arohunmolase is in Police custody and has made useful statement.
Ogodo assured that the fleeing masqueraders would soon be arrested from their hideouts.
Source: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/08/
masquerades-invade-church-flog-pastors-worshipers/
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